“…it’s not everyone God can trust with trouble…”
…words a friend sent to me days after my eye surgery. He had just shared some of his own recent health obstacles with me via our internet chat and we both were thankful that God was present even in adversity. I recalled Job’s words to his wife who attempted to persuade him to curse God and give up – Job replied, “Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?”
Up until early Saturday morning, I still had my own left eye. It hadn’t worked all that well since I was a kid, but still looked normal except for the last couple of years. Glaucoma, having deteriorated its normal functioning, made my life more difficult because of the pain and discomfort it caused on a consistent basis. And then it became infected, and the seriousness of that infection didn’t hit me and Sarah until Friday when my eye doctor said it needed to be removed immediately – “If it were me, I would have it removed tomorrow” he said.
So with surgery arranged for Saturday at 7:30 AM, Sarah and I asked our friends from church to gather and pray one last time that maybe, just maybe God might heal me. He said ‘no’ to the miraculous, but He has been with us through all this. That Friday night at prayer I noticed my trepidation receded and my reliance on God increased.
At my follow-up appointment this past Monday the Doctor said all the infection was in the eye, and had not progressed to my head. He also said I was healing up well, that the skin around my eye already looked healthier and that I could return to my normal schedule if I wanted to. In a few weeks I will see an occularist to have a temporary eye prosthetic put in the front part of the eye (the ball is already in there with some of my eye muscles attached to it) while a customized eye — completely matching my eye is created — which could take up to four months.
In the meantime I am wearing a patch, looking to buy some other patches to use – friends have suggested various kinds that would look good – including denim and rhinestones. My life is beginning to return to a level of normalcy. I am not dealing with much emotional turmoil, because my eye had always been less than useful and I have learned to live with one eye. But there is still healing, and there is the lingering effects of anesthesia. Thanks for the prayers, which we would still appreciate in the ongoing fallout of emergency surgery – we have no idea how big the bill will be and it is still not done i.e. the prosthetic, learning to live with a fake eye, etc.
I am unwilling to say God doesn’t allow peril into our lives. The echo of Mr Beaver’s words to Lucy in The Chronicles of Narnia about Aslan hover in my heart – God is not safe, but He is good. He has, as my friend shared, “entrusted me” with trouble and I am learning to honor that privilege.
Thanks for helping me, friends and family.